The Sheath Cleaning Song

Got this from another Blog, but it's too good not to repeat:

To the tune of "If you're happy and you know it"...

If it's hanging and you see it lube your hands
If it's hanging and you see it lube your hands
If it's hanging and you see it
Grab it quick it's time to clean it
If it's hanging and you see it lube your hands.

If it's peely and it's crusty pick it off
If it's peely and it's crusty pick it off
If it's peely and it's crusty
and the smell is kind of musty
If it's peely and it's crusy pick it off

If his weenie has a beanie dig it out
If his weeny has a beanie dig it out
If his weiner has a beaner
Pull it out and he'll be cleaner
If his weenie has a beenie dig it out

Now he's happy and you know it wash your hands
Now he's happy and you know it wash your hands
It's a job that's kind of kinky
And now your hands are really stinky
But he's happy and you know it wash your hands.

Talk About Speckles!

Fri Aug 17, 2007

Snapped this picture this past weekend while I had Coos trotting in the
round pen!

Love those whiskers!

Drove My Horse...Again!

Tue Aug 14, 2007

Another beautiful evening, I was feelin' pretty good (comes from sitting on my butt all day at work & staying off the ankle, lol). Luckily Quzqo was in his stall when I got to the barn tonight, but he hadn't been fed, so he was Displeased. Gave him his 1/2 scoop of grain to shut him up, & when he was done, he got hisself a brushin'!

Judging from the way he was trying to dig a hole in the concrete of the aisle, I knew it'd be foolish/stupid/death wish to just tack him up right then and there, so he earned himself a trip down to the round pen & got his fat butt lunged for about 15 minutes in the deep, strength-sucking sand, ha! When he was slowing on his own, dropping his head and licking & chewing and looking at me with pleading eyes...I figured it was enough, & back to the barn we went!

THAT hike about killed me though, what w/walking through that soft arena sand & then going UPhill, gaah! So much for my ankle not hurting all day!

Even though there were quite a few people around the barn, I felt good enough to try an experiment. With Coos in the cross-ties, I harnessed him up (BIG surprise, he let me put the bridle on him w/o him kicking up a major fuss! He put up a minor fuss, but not a major one!). Then, with him still in the cross ties, I brought the cart up behind him in the aisle & hitched him up!! Once all straps were secure, and after moving a couple of chairs out of the way, I was able to lead him down the barn aisleway and out the end door, cart & all!

I'd already asked Bob's permission to drive him in the empty "Bad Boyz" pasture, & managed to get him out there. Bad thing was, the gal who does the evening chores was in the process of turning horses out for the evening into the "Cannonball Run" pasture, which is where Quzqo spends his days. Even though he couldn't see them w/the blinders on, he could HEAR them galloping off up the hill to the pasture, and he got rather upset and agitated, the little shit! He wanted to take off, spin, fuss, he crouched back on his haunches a couple of times & got a pop in the ass for his trouble. I hadn't even gotten IN the cart yet, and was in no hurry to do so until His Emperorness decided to calm down and behave!! He did only after I got him pointed away from the pasture & there ceased to be horses running around...then I got in the dang cart.

He did pretty good, the ground was pretty bumpy with plenty of ridges where old fence lines used to be, and we discovered the SCARY way that there are large critter holes dug in there (yes, he stepped in one & spooked himself, but he was walking slowly so no harm done). There were two strange horses up in my Farrier's ex-pasture (divorced y'know), and they freaked out of their brains at the sight of us, LOL! I don't know if they'd sold the house & that was the new people's horses, but they were NOT happy, snark! Ditto the residents of Cannonball Run, they were snorting and spooking and stampeding and blowing...which got Coos upset, but oh well.

After a while in the pasture, tired of dodging critter holes and dealing with Quzqo's temper tantrums (barn sour? herd bound?) we left the pasture & went out into the driveway, down and out onto the road, down to another driveway, around the side yard a bit, back out onto the road...it was getting towards dusk & the light was fading, so I didn't want to stay out there too long.

Led him back down the aisleway & to the cross ties & was able to unhitch him w/o a hitch! GREAT to know I can do this now! Poor boy was yawning & ready for beddy-bye, LOL!

What a good horsie!

I Was Naughty

Wed Aug 8, 2007

Naughty naughty me!

Went to the barn last night...and RODE MY HORSE! Bwahahahaaa! Strictly against Doctor's Orders, HA!! Luckily it was hot & the horse was tired (he was yawning while I tried to put his bitless bridle on him). My new Endurance/Trail Riding Shoes arrived, so had to put them to the test (could BARELY get my swollen right foot into 'em, but I managed!)

All went well until I mounted (using the mounting block). AUUGH! Didn't occur to me that putting weight on the bad ankle & pushing upwards might cause excrutiating agony, LOL! Yikes! No permanent damage done, other than my leg killing me the whole time I rode, which took the fun out of it. I couldn't even bend it enough to put it in the stirrup, so I rode stirrupless.

Coos was gooder than gold (of course), we just walked around the indoor arena, and I was pleased that he remembered such things as backing, lateral bends & turns on the haunches. The thought of trotting briefly crossed my mind but it quickly went away, replaced by fear, lol! I rode about 15 minutes I think, before giving up & found a soft spot near the gate to dismount. That worried me more than getting on, but I was able to slide off and land solely on my good foot, so no problems with that.

I think the horse enjoyed "doing something", why else was he so good! Happily my leg isn't killing me this morning (yet), so no harm done, and I got that out of my system & probably won't feel like doing it again any time soon, lol!

Drove my horse!

Sat Aug 4, 2007

Didn't plan to but gosh, last evening was SO pretty and calm and lovely, and the barn was just bustling with helpful horsepeople, and the Barn Owner even hiked out into the pasture to catch Quzqo for me (he couldn't, but Quz came trotting down to the gate on his own, lol), I figured why the heck not!

It went quite well, considering he hadn't been driven in weeks, and hadn't been "worked" in nearly 3 months, lol! My biggest mistake was attempting this at dinner time, although he did get to eat his grain & a few mouthfuls of hay before I dragged him out into the aisleway for work. Turns out my boy has turned quite barn sour these past few months, which is a little trickier to deal with when you're sitting in a cart behind the horse in question! No, no rearing, no spinning, just a few discussions between horse and driver (he discovered he can't spin when he's between a pair of metal shafts, HA HA HA)

End result was he earned himself a nice trot along the road UPhill for about half a mile, and Mr. FattyFatFat was workin', ha, even though the tires were fully inflated & it was good firm footing. I'm very pleased with him (I did drive him a few times around an empty pasture w/lots of hills before taking him out on the road), because he was totally oblivious to the cars that went by (not too many since it was nearly 8 p.m. on a Friday evening). He did look closely at the rumble strips on the pavement, but didn't even flinch when a car went over those same rumble strips as we were near them!

We turned around a hundred yards before the intersection with a major US highway & headed back downhill, and even though I was expecting SOME sort of display, he plodded on nicely as we walked past the barn and on down the road in the other direction (spooking the horses in the front pasture, heh heh). LOTS of cars going by, but they all gave us plenty of clearance, which says something for doing something "unusual" like driving a cart instead of just riding along the road. Plus the bright tropical print shirt I was wearing gave us plenty of visibility along w/the SMV triangle on the back of the cart.

Quz did SO well, & even had some sweaty marks when we finally got back. It wasn't as relaxing as I thought it'd be, what w/the higher-than-expected traffic and the horse in a pissy tail-cranking mood (can't think how many times he caught a rein under his tail, arrgh...need a taller cart!) but all's well that ends well!

LOL...when I came back from my drive and Bob was (VERY inexpertly) helping me unhitch the horse from the cart (I was surprised, because Bob does drive, but 4-wheeled carriages, not shafted carts...so he starts unhooking everything on the horse's right side and THEN the left side, and wanted to lead the horse out of the shafts w/the traces still hooked to the singletree, yikes!), this new Boarder and her daughter were walking from the front pasture (where their horse is), and the mom said:

"We want to know ONE thing....can Maddie (their horse) do that?"

Bob said "Any horse can do it, just some go faster than others!" lol!

Maybe I should start running driving-training clinics, make some moolah!

Thanks to the power of Motrin, I might just go out there this afternoon & put Himself in the round pen and work on a little ground manners & the like. I ordered myself some nice riding sneakers (okay, "endurance and trail riding shoes") and once those come in I'll see about actually getting on his back & doing some easy walking in the indoor arena. I can't wear boots because my ankle swells so darned much, I probably would have to cut them off again, lol!

The barn owner's little granddaughter was riding yesterday, and she commented that I had a cane! I told her I'd broke my leg, and she matter-of-factly asked "Then why are you HERE?" LOL...excuuuuse me, child! "Why even come here if you can't ride??" Ah, children...from the mouths of babes. So much for them to learn.

A Driving Ambition

Sun Jul 8, 2007

WhooHOO!

Yesterday evening I went out to the barn, and even though Coos was WAAAAY the hell out in the pasture, I managed to hobble-walk-hop on my walking cast all the way out there (uphill)...thankfully they'd mown the pasture, so it was easier for crutching! And also Thankfully, once I got close enough for him to hear me calling his name, Quzqo left his grazing and walked the 150 feet or so right up to me on his own!!

He got a carrot chunk for his trouble, and UNfortunately all his pasture pals saw him getting treats, and all 7 of THEM came downhill as well, and I soon found myself entirely circled by curious geldings! None of them are mean or pushy, just very friendly, which isn't great when you're on crutches in the middle of a field! I was worried I'd get knocked over, or somebody'd start a fight and hooves would start flying. That didn't happen, and with some well-timed crutch-waving I shooed enough horses away that I could escape and start back downhill, and THANKfully, Quzqo walked along with me! UNfortunately, all his buddies also came along, and one big minimal overo Chestnut was trying to get his nose in my pocket where the peppermints were! Hard to crutch-walk with that happening!

But, long story short, I made it down to the gate in one piece, and Coos was waiting for me, and I got him haltered, & we made it to the barn. My friend had shown up to help me out, and after Coos enjoyed some evening grain and a good pee in his stall, we brought him out to the cross-ties & I gave him a good brushin'!

Managed to harness him up by myself, as my friend had gone to get her TWH mare (I insisted, because I felt guilty for some reason). He was a little twitchy when I put the saddle on him & clamped his tail when I tried to put the crupper on, but by the time I got to the bridling, he was fussing and wiggling and ready to GO!

We got him out into the arena, and I held him while my friend brought the cart up, and we got him hitched up w/o incident (though the shafts are a tighter fit than they were 50# ago!!)(let's also say that I wasn't using the same holes in the harness that I was using back in May, HA! Fat Boy!!!). I hopped into the cart w/as much grace as someone in a walking cast could muster (I'm pleased I made it IN in the first place), and w/my friend at his head, we walked around the arena once before she tied the lead rope to the overcheck hook and away we went!

The bad combination of soft tires (my foot-powered air pump is still in my other friend's pick-up) and that ridiculously soft arena footing made it very hard going for Quzqo, so once I was certain he wasn't going to be nutty, we ventured outside!

He was gooder than gold!! We went around the driveway a couple of times, out on the ROAD, back up another driveway, around the side lawn, back out onto the road again, and pretty much just dinked around. The nice side pasture where I used to drive now has horses in it, so that's out, and the outdoor arena is such deep, soft sand, that's definitely out of the question. LOL, it was fun going by the front pasture where the summer camp horses are kept, because they were FREAKING every time we went by! Guess they hadn't seen a horse and cart before, ha! Good for 'em to expand their horizons!!!

Took him out on the road again, and a large white pickup was approaching behind us. I have the Slow Moving Vehicle triangle on the back, so I was street legal, and the truck slowed and moved into the other lane as it passed. For the record, Quzqo didn't even twitch an ear! What a good boy!!

He did spook/startle at Bob's corgi bitch, Lola, that emerged from beneath a parked car by the house, but she was more frightened than he was, LOL!

Finished up the drive by having my friend get on board, and drove her around pretty much the same route, even though the tires were very near flat under our combined weight (I need that air pump!!), LOL. I was pleased because I've invited her to go for a drive with me pretty much every time I saw her and she'd always declined (she's a rather, um, "careful" lady), and this time she accepted, and she enjoyed it immensely. She used to drive & had been talking about training her mare to drive, and I think this got her inspired! She's got a nice cart & harness already, so no reason not to!

Poor Coos has lost that tight, quarter-bouncing butt of his these past 8 weeks so he was workin' to haul for sure! But this'll help him get his buff physique back in no time! I'm really looking forward to taking him further down the road, which luckily doesn't get a lot of traffic in the evening (once everybody's gone home for the day).

Felt SO good to at least do that much, after all this time! and I'm SO proud that he settled right into it w/o any silly drama queen antics! I figured he wouldn't bee too wild after the 92 degree day we had yesterday!

For his reward he got a nice flake of hay & I found his Pony Pop (it'd been lost since the horse show), & he got to spend the night indoors away from the bugs. I'll have to head out there tonight because it's Bran Mash Sunday!

I'd mentioned to a coworker that I was hoping to drive Coos this weekend, and she got all worried and said "Do you think that's smart? What if he flips over or something?????"

LOL!

Thoughts on Firecrackers

Mon Jul 2, 2007

After telling myself pretty much all day yesterday that I was too tired to go to the barn, of course I went, LOL! HAD to see my boy!! It's an addiction I tell ya!

I about did a Dance of Joy when I saw he was already in his stall (it was around 7 p.m.)!! Hoorah! He'd pretty much eaten most of his hay, so he was amenable to greeting me at the stall door & about climbed on top of me to get his beloved peppermint. GAD he looks scruffy...inch-long whiskers, 2" long bridlepath sticking up, his nose is all scabby and peeling from the sun, he's got dark tearstains under his eyes, my poor, poor neglected boy!!

BUT...His mane is detangled! Still! I put more of that detangler in it & finger-combed it, with a finishing swipe of his body brush, and it's laying nice and flat, with an obvious short spot in the middle, LOL. Well, IF IF IF I were to go to any horse show this year, I'd braid it up anyway, so it wouldn't be noticible.

He was in a good mood, probably because his tummy was full (I've asked they cut back his hay & grain & keep him in all night so he's not out stuffing his face 24/7), & enjoyed scratchies on his chesticles where the bugs had been biting. He CAN behave! He CAN act civilized!

The highlight of his evening was the presentation of the Bran Mash! LOL...he acted like a kid on Christmas Morning! Luckily he still remembered his manners and backed off when I raised my hand, I didn't want to get trampled over a bucket of wet bran & molasses! Oh, he dove right into that bucket of goodness & ate & ate & ate and while he ate, I finger-combed his mane.

Haven't gotten up the nerve to harness him up, but he isn't ACTING goofy (remember my free-lunging attempt Saturday?). Trick is, finding someone to help me. Well, it was a horse show weekend, so it was pretty dead around the barn. I could harness him, but no way can I drag a cart. We shall see, maybe on the 4th.

Of course he wasn't acting the least bit goofy at that horse show either.

It's also close to the 4th of July, and there's the worry of firecrackers going off. But Quzqo is good about explosions. Last fall we were riding down a dirt road, and two guys were sighting in their shotguns about 100 yards to our right...they let off a shot and *I* about jumped out of the saddle! The horse kept on ambling down the road w/o twitching an ear.

Plus the barn isn't really near any houses, much less houses with kids or rednecks living in them. And I have no plans to go driving down the road into neighborhoods with both afore mentioned subspecies of humanoid.

Oh...here's something interesting: My friend with the Paint mare told me that she was grooming her horse last week in her usual spot in the aisle, when suddenly, without warning, HER mare suddenly spooked and swung her massive hindquarters around and smacked right into my friend, knocking HER off her feet, she hit a plastic chair and fell to the concrete floor!!

She didn't break anything, but has massive bruises on her leg, thigh, and torso! Damned horses!

The horse spooked because Lola, the Corgi Bitch, quietly hopped down off a bale of hay, LOL! Glad nobody got seriously hurt.

It's the stuff you THINK will scare a horse that they ignore, and something you wouldn't ever thing would be scary drives them over the edge. Heck, Coos about jumped out of his hide when that mare in the stall next to his boinked him in the butt the other day!