Help! My Horse Is Too Smart For Me!

I realized tonight that Quzqo has me perfectly trained! I'm still having "issues" with bridling him...you may recall last winter I had problems with him tossing his head whenever I brought the bit near his mouth (he's fine with his halter or bitless bridle though), and I had to literally tie his head down (ran the lead rope between his forelegs and around his barrel, so if he flung his head up he'd goose himself in the armpits). Tonight I did that and he totally fooled me by keeping his head down (with slack in the lead rope!) and accepting the (warmed) bit like a perfect gentleman.

BUT...as I was preparing to get on, and was climbing up on my chair (the ole' broken leg is still giving me grief), the little bugger swung his butt away and I could almost hear him sniggering at me! I got back down, lead him back to the chair, got him in position, he raised his head in preparation to back up and swing his butt away, when I produced his Beloved....a Starlight Mint!

He greedily snarfed it up and stood quiet as a rock while he concentrated on maneuvering the mint up over the mouthpiece of the snaffle back to his molars, giving me ample time to get my crippled ole' self up on his back!

Once on board, he decided he didn't really WANT to give me a ride, and kept stopping at every opportunity! I did have my spurs on, but he can ignore those readily enough. We'd trot maybe 2/3 around the arena before he'd stop. And it'd be w/o warning! If I felt him slowing I could urge him up again, but as soon as my mind wandered, BAM, back down to a halt!

A couple of times he stopped, and parked out, like he had to pee! I dutifully stood up in the stirrups, ignoring the pain in my ankle, because what's more important...the 8 metal screws embedded in my leg bones, or my horse's comfort as he tinkles? We stood there for about 30 seconds, and I didn't hear any waterworks! Was he faking? Was he colicing? I got him moving again, he sidled to the middle of the arena and stopped and parked out again and raised his tail! Again I stood up and forward in the stirrups and waited...his tail went back down and he stood there happily smacking his lips and drooling. FAKE again!

I got off and put him in his stall, he stood by the bars and nickered at me. I gave him five whole minutes in there and there was NO piddling, so I got him back out, back to the arena, and back to the mounting block! (not the chair this time). The bugger again SWINGS his butt away from me! I walk to the gate, with Quzqo tagging along at my elbow, and duck into the tack room to get more bribes...yes, more peppermints! Again back to the mounting block, I get him in position, again he hollows his back and prepares to back up and swing his butt...but lo, the beloved peppermint appears, and he accepts my bribe, and stands steady as a rock, slurping on his peppermint while I get back on board!

I did get some decent riding in tonight, it was all I could do to get that horse to trot, though we did make it 1-1/2 times around the arena without stopping! Cantering, well, that's another issue. He was just as big a slug on Saturday, but when I turned him loose in the pasture afterwards he TORE off at a gallop into the field. Yes, I'm feeling like I'm being taken advantage of!