Monday, August 31, 2009

The Frenchman's Blue Plate Special

You'd think that after all the hours under saddle Quzqo has endured this summer, he'd be rather blasé about trail rides. I'd taken him out in harness the other evening, and he behaved perfectly well, better than ever in fact! So one would assume (and you know what happens when you assume...) he'd be fine going out on the trail this weekend!

Got him all tacked up and headed out on a coolish late August Sunday, temps in the high 50's (August??? In Alaska maybe!), a good breeze from the north, sunny. They were cutting hay in the fields adjoining the barn property, and the local high school Equestrian Team was holding practice down in the outdoor arena. I rode Quz over near the arena and stood on a hillside watching the goings-on. He was very interested, standing rock-still, probably worried that his future involved going into that arena and running around in circles like those poor horses down there. Had to laugh to myself...two of the non-riding teen girls sitting by the arena turned and stared at us... rudely so. Were they thinking "what a beautiful white Arabian!!!" or "What's that old lady doing here???". I prefer the former, of course.

We headed out the driveway, avoiding all the trucks and trailers parked in the field below. Briefly were chased by a houseguest's Cardigan Corgi but he gave up because actually chasing a horse would mean work. Off into the field where they were cutting hay. Luckily the tractor was pretty far off, not that I think Quzqo would have issues with it, but I knew I shouldn't chance it.

Got him into a nice trot, and then into an awesome canter that quickly turned into a hand gallop up the hill. I rode one-handed, just giggling to beat the band as he flew up the fenceline and up the hill. The little bugger actually WAS hand-galloping! Cooler weather and exciting wind, and not having been ridden/driven for two days probably.

But he IS Quzqo and he petered out before we reached the top of the hill. Walked down and near the neighbor's horses, which now includes a mare and adorable foal, and an odd companion mare with a penchant for spooking and wild galloping, tail flagging, head high. She waited 'til we got close before she exploded and bolted around the pasture...Quzqo jumped sideways and attempted to spin to head back the way we'd come. I didn't bring my whip, but I did have spurs, and managed to get him back heading our original direction, and he marched past the scary fenceline filled with insane Quarter Horses into the open field.

Past the danger, he began his usual slogging pace, if I tried to get him to walk a little faster, he'd break into a trot. More than once he tried his "I have an itch" scam where as soon as I let him lower his head to scratch, he dives for the grass. But I had the shanked curb in his mouth this time, so he had to do what I wanted for once!

He was pretty good as we headed down the dirt road, other than balking as we left the hayfield. Hm, he hasn't done that all year...is he reverting? Is he bored and thinking up new things to test me with??? Again he balked as we headed into the woods, trying to turn and go back the way we came. I regretted using roping reins, since I didn't have any extra to pop his butt with like with split reins!

More petulant hoof-dragging and trying to turn back at every pause. We were in another set of forest, and could heard dogs barking up ahead. Quzqo stopped and downright refused to move one more step! His head came up, ears forward, I could feel his heart pounding through the leather of the saddle. If I tried to cue him forward, he started backing up and trying to turn around!

There were multiple dogs barking, probably up at the dirt road ahead, out of sight. Quz isn't normally concerned with barking dogs, so this kind of concerned me. But I couldn't let him get his way and chicken out. I let him stand and ponder for a minute or two, but if I tried to cue him forward, he'd start backing and trying to turn back. Once we ended up with his butt up on the side of the trail in the trees. I was wondering about my own supposed wisdom in pursuing this plan of action...in the movies the horses are always the ones to warn the ignorant humans of impending doom ("Black Beauty" anyone?) and it's the pig-headed humans that have to have their way, much to the misery of all involved.

Yeah, I'm a pig-headed human, and after some reassuring pats and then a curse and a series of smacks to the pommel of my saddle with the reins, he hesitantly marched forward, coiled so tight I was sure he was going to explode at any second!!

I could see movement through the trees...and Quzqo burst out of the woods into the road, and then we could see that Dog "A" was in fact "Killer" the redneck Spaniel out in front of his house to our right, and Dogs "B" through "E" were down the road to our left, helping their human install or remove full-sized American and Canadian flags from the crossed hockey sticks adorning their mailbox!!

Did I mention there was a pretty good sustained wind?

Dogs "B" through "E" saw us and began barking louder and bounding in our direction. They appeared to be various mixes, one had to be part Great Dane, a couple of Lab or Golden Retriever crosses, and one smaller Mutt. The man stopped messing with the flags long enough to begin bellowing at the dogs, which of course, only got them more excited!

Quzqo froze and regarded the canines approaching. There was no way I was going to turn him around, because that'd guarantee a dog chase! So, since the man couldn't control them, I cued him forward, and we walked towards the oncoming dog pack.

As predicted, the dogs stopped and bolted back towards their human, tails between their legs. I called to the man that it was all right, they're only doing their jobs, in an attempt to get him to quit his hollering. As we approached the man, dogs, and waving flags, here comes an ATV down their drive way, I assume with the wife driving! Gee, all I needed now was a marching band and maybe the Goodyear Blimp for good measure!!

Quz did a little side-spook but kept going, and he managed to walk past the melee of barking dogs, waving flags, hollering humans and blatting all-terrain vehicles. Let's see THAT in a horse show trail class!!

We kept it to a walk until we were maybe 75 yards past the driveway. Quzqo was thrumming with tension, I could feel it. Once we were well away from the dogs, I got him into a trot that turned into another hand gallop and off we went down the dirt road!

Into the woods again. The heavy, heavy rains of the past few days filled all the dips in the two-track with water, so we had a veritable obstacle course of puddles and small ponds. Of course he managed to avoid every single one, even the ones I tried to get him to go through. We made it as far as my favorite little stream, and stood quietly for a while listening to the water gurgle. That went well for a few seconds before Quzqo decided I'd had enough listening to water, and started to turn around. Of course that meant he had to walk a few yards in the original direction, despite much balking and tail-cranking, THEN we turned around on MY say-so.

He hauled back, wanting to trot, but I kept him walking. He spooked at the puddles, at the shadows, at the sticks. Just because he was being such a dick, we took a left turn onto the Michigan Shore-to-Shore trail...it was like steering a barge! Again I had to smack my pommel with the reins to get him moving. He was stopping, sniffing, trying to turn...it was like pulling teeth to get him down that narrow trail on the hillside. About halfway down he resigned himself and plunged forward in an effort to get it over with. We crossed the stream again, and once on the other side of the little bridge, stopped, assuming (wrongly) that we were turning around. Just because of that I pointed him up the trail. And did he ever refuse! He tried to spin, back, anything but move forward. I spurred him upwards and probably calling me every name in the book, he went up the hill. Once at the top I turned him around without warning, and we went back down, much to his surprise and delight!

We got back out onto the dirt road and I got him into a trot (my butt was numb from all that walking), then a canter. He was good for a few yards before he decided no, he didn't want to canter, and kept dropping back to a trot. I kept getting him back into a canter, then he'd veer suddenly to the left or the right, depending what side the invisible horse-demons were on at the time.

At least the man with the dogs, flags, and ATV were gone, looks like he was removing them since all that was left on the mailbox were the crossed hockey sticks.

As I was pondering our good fortune, and debating if I wanted to turn right and go back through the woods, or go straight out to the main road, without any warning whatsoever, Quzqo jammed on the brakes and reared up in a spin! The visor of my helmet hit the back of his neck as I flew forward, and my goodness, how nicely up-close I could see all the fleabites on his neck!! We ended up 90 degrees to the left, and I spun him around further. "You want to spin! FINE!! SPIN!!"

I'll admit right here I was pretty pissed off after putting up with 2 hours of his foolishness and attitude. We headed down into the woods (because I knew what spookable things would be down the road) and after one more in-place spook, took up the reins tighter than normal and kicked him forward. If his attention is on ME, it'd be less likely to wander and see boogie men in the shadows!!

We made it to the road, and instead of crossing back into the woods, we side-passed down the side of the road until we got past the SCARYSCARY realtor's sign that is always good for a bolt into the lane of traffic, then into a great ground-eating trot. Onto another dirt road where I got his sorry self into another canter, and this time he was all for cantering, because he knew he was heading HOME!

Eventually, without any further Sue-Loses-A-Stirrup caliber spookings, we did make it back to the barn. I was less than pleased with my boy, but I know he's just being a horse, a high-strung Arabian horse, and I probably wouldn't like anything less. I dismounted, congratulated him on not killing me, and told him see, I didn't kill you either! Here we are, home, safe and sound!!!

I led him into the barn, and was walking him past a big pile of sawdust. I didn't notice the wheelbarrow by the sawdust until apparently Quzqo hit it with his right hind leg and he EXPLODED up into the air and in front of me, knocking the wheelbarrow over, and landing maybe 15 feet ahead of me, reins dangling, stirrups akimbo, and standing on three legs!!!

SHIT!

He was hesitant to put any weight on his right hind...I checked him over, there was no visible injury. Shitshitshit!! All that nonsense on the trail, and he hurts himself in his own barn!!!

Gingerly I led him forward, and he limped a couple of steps then began walking normally. Quickly I untacked him, double-checked his leg, nothing was swelling. But taking no chances, I took him out to the wash rack and ran cold water on his leg while he grazed. I was happy to see him putting significant weight on that leg, and he had no problem walking. Put him back in his stall where the Magikal Hay and Grain Fairy had come and filled all his food containers, Joy Joy! But I stole his grain bucket away before he could dive into it, and spiked it with some bute powder. He didn't seem to notice or care and scarfed it right down!

So I'm hoping and praying he didn't do more than maybe bruise himself, or maybe tweak something when he jumped over the wheelbarrow. The hoofprints in the ground are pretty deep where he launched himself, and the impact prints are impressively far away from his take-off point!

Now I feel guilty for cursing him and calling him a Frenchman's Blue Plate Special for trying to kill me with his spooking. When I check on him tonight, it'll be nothing but peppermints and nose-kisses for sure!



An Update: Visited Himself this evening, and happy to report that Quz is fine, no limp, no swelling. Whadda boy!

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