A Kwazy Quzqo Christmas

Mon Dec 26, 2005

Hey, I survived Christmas Eve with (most) my family! The whole experience
reminded me WHY I hate Christmas the holiday, why I didn't want to hold a live
show ever again, and the interesting physiological effects of stress on the
body!

It's no wonder the most often-muttered phrase to myself was "What an ass-pain!"

But I guess it was all worth it if everybody had fun, right?

First was the effort of trying to clean the barn's viewing room. Let's just say
it wasn't a hoot, sweeping up feces (dog? cat? small child???), throwing out
cat-chewed foodstuffs, and gathering up deer-blood soaked sheets of cardboard.
But hey, the price was right (free!)

Didn't even try to make the place overly Christmassy---you'd need a whole troup
of strong men with stepladders for that. Half the overhead lights didn't work,
so much for my plan to use the "living room" section with the big comfy chairs
and couches...not in total darkness, be a little hard to open presents!

Moving tables, benches, furniture, setting up the tree, spreading tablecloths,
getting the food ready, drinks, table settings (well, paper plates & plastic
cutlery)...I realize now in retrospect that I did TOO MUCH! Most the cookies
didn't even get touched, I could have saved a lot of time and effort by not
bothering. I'll try to be charitable and say at least each family group brought
something to the meal...if you count a box of Triscuits and a can of
spray-cheese a contribution.

My one niece and her family didn't come, nobody thought to mention it, and it's
too bad, because that family is the worst off and I'm sure the kids would have
been delighted to get a pony ride. But my other niece and her 5 kids came, and
my nephew and his wife and 2 yr old boy came, along with both my brothers and
the sister-in-law. A good showing anyway.

The meal went well, everybody liked my deer balls I made, except the brother who
killed the deer, he still won't touch anything with venison in it, LOL...even
got my little 3 yr old grand-niece to eat one, which she enjoyed (and when she's
in her teens and turns her nose up at venison, we can say "but you liked it when
you were three!", lol)

Course for ME the highlight was the pony rides! Bob, the barn owner, was nice
enough to let me borrow one of the pony saddles, so the kids would at least have
a saddle their size (with a horn for grabbing onto!) Tried to have an ORDERLY
pony ride with everybody drawing numbers, but after the first kid, that went to
crap as you can imagine. First up was the 18 month old boy, Aiden, and although
he sat like a bag of potatoes, his mom kept ahold of his pants waist and the kid
had THE biggest grin on his face!

Quzqo of course was PERFECT, although a bit bewildered (he was actually dozing
when I got him out of his stall), and little Aiden cried and cried when his ride
was done!

Can't remember who went next or with who or what...every kid got to ride, alone
and in pairs. My Nephew's son, Joey, had never been on a horse (he's about 2-1/2
yrs old) and that kid sat up straight and secure, grinning away, he had ahold of
the reins, no sissy horn-grabbing for HIM! I was impressed! He did NOT want to
get off, and started crying and sobbing and wailing as his mother had to
forcibly pry his fingers one-by-one off of the reins, LOL!

My grand-nephew, G.J., who is 8, got to ride solo (so did his younger sister,
Celine, both lead-line veterans), and G.J. apparently remembered the last time
he got to ride Quzqo, he got to TROT...so the kid waited until he had
Quzqo waaaay down at the far end of the arena behind the round pen, (so we
couldn't SEE him very well), and apparently cued Quzqo for a trot!

Well, little did Mr. GJ know that I'd been working with Quzqo all fall on his
cantering, and right now Quzqo thinks that if you sit the trot for any reason,
that means...CANTER! Yep, out from behind the round pen comes Quzqo CANTERING
with GJ leaning far forward with his arms up in the air and about half a mile of
loose reins flopping around, BWAHAHAAAA! My Niece SCREAMED "SON OF A BITCH!"
(lol) and as Quzqo and GJ went cantering by us, she was SCREAMING at the top of
her lungs to "PULL THE REINS! PULL THE REINS!!!" (a little side note: Heidi has
issues with runaway horses, because the last two times she ever rode Tezlu, he,
er, ran off with her, the first time throwing her into a fence that warranted a
trip to the E.R.)

We needn't have worried...the saving grace was that kid's saddle that was just
the right size to wedge GJ's butt securely, and that it WAS Quzqo, who cantered
RIGHT across the arena to the far corner and stopped...which is also the closest
point to his STALL!

Careful what you wish for, GJ, you might get it, heh heh! "Go faster"...okay!

My Nephew's wife rode last, she loves horses and hadn't ridden in years, and
didn't mind squeezing into the kid's saddle (she's thin enough to fit, grrr),
and she walked Quzqo around a bit, having a helluva time steering him, heehee!
Okay, I did have the reins hooked to the bottom ring of his halter, so it worked
like a bosal, but she had her hands waaaay up high and was trying to
neck-rein...nuh-uh, he doesn't know what that means, so it was funny. Whenever
Quzqo got confused, he'd ignore whatever rider was on his back and come back to
wherever I was standing, BWAHAHA! "Save me!!!"

Well, little Joey was crying for Mama, and got away from his daddy and went
running across the arena RIGHT for the horse and Mama...Daddy caught him up, and
went to Mama, and meant to hand the kid up so they could ride double... but
little Joey was SCREAMING and WAILING and BAWLING...Soon as my nephew raised
that kid up, Quzqo JUMPED sideways, LOL! Nuh Uh, don't want that noisy thing
near me!! So much for that idea!

At least the evening ended with no injuries, just a passel of amazingly FILTHY
children, snrk...hey, I swept the floor, I didn't mop it! I said in the
invitation to wear old clothes, heh heh!

And Quzqo got a BIG basket filled with apples and carrots for his effort! And
probably a newfound gratitude that he's owned by ME, and not somebody with lots
of small children!

Above is a pic of the youngest girl, "Faith" riding Cusco, with her big
brother, GJ, leading. You tell me they won't remember this for a long, long
time!

Reportedly she and her mommy were in the ladies' bathroom at the barn, and she
saw a framed photo of a white Arabian running in the snow, and according to her
mom (my niece), she piped up "That Quzqo's sure stylin'!" LOL!