Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Today is Blog Action Day 08

Today is some feel-good foolery where everyone with a Blog is supposed to post on "Poverty". http://blogactionday.org/

Only because I don't have anything better to do, I'll play along. I've boarded horses for nearly 20 years, so that means I've paid board every month for 240 months. The first board I paid was only $165/mo. Today's board is $300/mo. Taking an average it comes out to $220/mo. Multiply that by 240, and I've spent roughly $52,800 paying for my horses' room and board! That's not counting farriers, veterinary, tack, treats, carrots and Starlight mints!

When I first bought my old horse, Tezlu, I was reprimanded by my yuppy brother about "wasting" money, how the horse would never increase in value, and it'd be a wiser choice to invest that $2000 I spent on Tezzer into Mutual Funds. Well, maybe that was true for a while, but considering today's market, I think I've broken even...if the $$ was in the market, it'd be worth nothing, and since Tezlu is pushing up Canadian Thistle, well...he's not increasing in value.

Anyway, I don't know where this is going actually. I could be richer if I didn't have board to pay every month, but we all know riches can't be counted monetarily, and spending that nearly $53,000 is proof that you CAN buy happiness!

We return you to your previously-scheduled self-loathing about how you have so much and others live in poverty!

Sunday, October 12, 2008

Color Tour Trail Ride

Y'know, it's been probably 2 YEARS since I've gone out on a group trail ride. Last year, of course, I broke my leg (or more accurately, Quzqo broke it for me!), and even when I was able to ride again, the pain kept me from going out for extended periods of time.

This year my past trail riding buddies had either moved away, or their horses were crippled, or too green, or they were too busy with horse shows, so pretty much all my rides (with the exception of a few that didn't get a mile from the barn) were solitary.

Since Autumn is a brief and glorious period here in Northern Michigan, and our riding days are numbered with firearm deer season a month away, I took a shot (no pun) and wrote out an invite to a group ride on the dry erase board at the barn.

"Color Tour Trail Ride
Sunday, October 12
(weather permitting)
Departing 2 p.m.
Everyone Welcome!"

Sunday arrived, and it was GLORIOUS! Ridiculously fantastically glorious weather, almostunheard of in Northern Michigan in mid-October! Sunny, no breeze, mid-70's, and the trees in an orgasmic display of fall spectacle! I got to the barn around 1, not caring if anyone was going to come on the ride with me or not, it was too beautiful to not go!!

Since this was going to be a "real" ride, I went full-out tacking up the horse; trail saddle, gel seat pad for my butt, breastcollar, bear bells, water bottle, an apple in case I get hungry, camera, hoof pick, toilet paper (you never know...)(course there'd be no shortage of leaves if needed...), baling twine, and to top it all off, his biothane bitless bridle! All I forgot to do was the red ribbon for his tail, but since as far as I knew I was going alone, why bother!

Well, as it turns out, Bob and his wife, Pam, were coming along, and had to go catch their horses to ride! Another girl who had been riding in the indoor ring also decided to come along on her HUGE Percheron-X gelding named "Steven". And a mother and daughter team (relatively new boarders at the barn) also were saddling up, turns out they were avid trail riders, but didn't know anyone who rode the trails at the barn, and didn't know where the trails even were! Well well well, it felt like Christmas Morning!

We headed off around 2:20, with Quzqo and me in the lead! Even before we were off the barn property, we were overtaken by Bob on this new blue roan he'd just gotten in last week, and the girl on Steven (no surprise a Percheron-X had a longer stride than a 14.2 Arabian!). Steven kept crowding Quzqo's butt, and JUST as I was going to open my mouth to warn his rider, Quzqo kicked out at him with both hind feet! He did that twice, but missed both times. She never did make a real effort to keep him away from Quz (I don't think she could...Steven was quite large and strong), so I had to keep moving behind him out of the way) Everyone rode along the shoulder and headed East towards the Lake Dubonnet campground. It didn't take but a few minutes for Mr. Pokey-Butt Quzqo to be the dog-last horse in the line.


We have an informal arrangement with a small TWH farm down the road (Quz and I have terrorized those horses in the past with our scary cart) that we can use the two-track alongside their property and the wonderful horse trails cut into the forest behind them. That is a beautiful ride through there no matter the season. Very narrow trail, very winding, lots of hills and trees, and it works its way along a swamp/bog/river leading to Lake Dubonnet. Just beautiful! A couple of times I had to clamp my feet against the horse to keep from smacking them into a nearby tree trunk, and Quz helpfully would move to the left or right when I asked.

Lots of hardwoods and bracken fern. In a week or two I suspect the actual trail will be hidden by all the fallen leaves, so it's a good thing we went when we did!


Yeah, it's a little difficult taking photos from a moving horse.


It was amusing; us ladies were just ooing and aaahing at the beautiful trees and colors, pointing out a particularly spectacular maple or beech, or a bright yellow bracken, or a notable stand of birches, and up ahead of us, Bob was yakking away on his &^%$# cell phone! I told Pam he needed to get a Bluetooth headset so he can have both hands on the reins, ha! (He has one, he just doesn't like to use it).

We made it to the dam near Lake Dubonnet, it's just gorgeous (okay, I need more words than "gorgeous"...time to check out thesaurus.com!) Ah...it's just respendent! That's a good word!

I mean c'mon....you've got to agree:


There's a horse-watering area near there, as it's near the Shore-to-Shore Lake Dubonnet Trail Camp, so we all went down there. Bob's new horse didn't want anything to do with the water. Steven the Percheron-X went in gamely and out again. "Showtime" the QH went in and got a drink. Once the others cleared out, Quzqo walked right in up to his knees (he would have kept going but I stopped him...I once saw a fellow on a QH go out towards the middle and both he and his horse fell into a hole and both went underwater!!!)(I have a deep-seated terror of drowning, it's a childhood thing). Quz dropped his head and began fladdling his lips in the water, he'd paw mightily, splashing everyone around, then he'd plunge his FACE into the water and toss it so water went everywhere. He'd paw and splash and was just having too much fun! I was alert for the sensation of his hindquarters dropping, meaning he was about to roll, but I didn't let him stay out there long enough. I've never SEEN him roll in water,or even attempt it, but I wasn't about to try now!

With both of us pretty well soaked, we continued on and to "The Loop" rather than turn back. I got the feeling Bob would have liked to have turned back (ha ha). We got up to the road and Quzqo headed to the left...trouble being, we needed to go to the RIGHT! And he would NOT stop, would NOT turn, the little bugger!! We got about 60 feet down the road before I was able to crank his head around so that the rest of him followed and a pop on the butt with the whip got him following the other horses. That's pretty much when the whole tone of the ride changed. And not for the better.

There comes a point in every group trail ride where the horses succumb to the herd mentality, and it almost becomes like they have some sort of mind-meld, and all become one. Sort of like the Borg. It was fun at first...we'd all be trotting down the road or trail, then someone's horse breaks into a canter...which means they ALL have to break into a canter, which turns into a gallop, and you can forget about slowing or stopping or pretty much ANY frickin' form of control! Especially when you're dumb enough to use a BITLESS bridle!! But more on that in a bit.

I strongly suspect the mother-and-daughter team didn't have the best control over their steeds, or else they LIKED to trot down hills and gallop UP hills, because that's pretty much what they did for the entire ride! I do NOT like trotting down hills (I do like galloping up hills though, ha ha!)(although I prefer to have some sort of CONTROL over my horse while doing so!). We'd just come down a small sandy hill, and the horses way ahead of me broke into a gallop up the next hill...I held Quzqo back, not easy to do, and I knew I couldn't hold him for long, so as we got to the base of the hill, I totally gave him his head, his hindquarters bunched up and we LAUNCHED up that hill!!! I had grabbed a handful of mane and just held the hell on! YeeHOOOO! that boy can GALLOP!!!

Course at the top of the hill the leaders had slowed down, and we ALMOST bounced off Steven's massive rump! After about the dozenth time they did that, Pam and I gave them advice to keep going once they reach the hilltop so the horses behind wouldn't rear-end the horse in front!

The trails around there are just lovely, er, magnificent (by Michigan standards...okay, no grand mountainscapes or canyons or fjords), it was downright balmy, not a bug to be seen, no tourists, no dirt bikers, no hunters. It couldn't have been a better day!

Occasionally Quzqo and I got to the head of the pack, and I got to do some nice, civilized trotting and slow, controlled cantering, and then we'd wait for the rest to catch up.

Eventually we made it to a nice narrow two-track through the woods, and the horses up ahead took off at a canter, which means they ALL took off at a canter - hand gallop - GALLOP! If I'd dared let go, I would have thrown my hands up in the air in exasperation and said "to heck with it!" but I had one hand in the horse's mane (I keep it long for this very reason!) and the other on the reins, and for the first time in a long time, I was frickin' PANICKED! Blind, unreasoning, ready-to-fall-off-and-DIE panic! Trees were flying past at blinding speed, Quz was galloping after the others at breakneck (literally) speed, and although my seat was firmly in the saddle and really in no danger of becoming unhorsed, my mental block reared up and I briefly hunched forward into the typical N00b panic pose! Damn, I HATE THAT! I managed to regain my composure, sat back upright (still at a gallop over hill and over dale) and managed to shout out "CAN WE SLOW DOWN PLEASE!!!!"

Thankfully they did slow down and again we almost bounced off of Steven's butt! I was gasping for breath, all the horses were huffing and puffing. I don't mind the occasional canter, but I'm no fan of speed! Although I am impressed that Quzqo HAS such speed in his lazy old self!

The horses were really in no mood for a slow, relaxed amble through the forest any longer. They were ALL wired up, shying at stumps, taking off at the trot. We zipped right by my favorite little destination, "Peanut Lake" (a tiny little lake surrounded by hardwoods), and came to the swamp that'd been an obstacle to me all summer long . There's a three-four foot wide mucky spot in the trail that Quzqo would NOT cross when we were alone. My theory was that if five other horses go through it before him, he'd follow (if not, I'd really be in a predicament, ha ha!)

We came to the spot, and Steven was first...he balked, crashed sideways into the trees, then tromped his way through. The next four horses either hopped, jumped, or slogged, but all got through. Quzqo was in such a hurry to keep up, he pretty much jumped-hopped through it and we made it in one piece!

More hills to gallop up...this time I was "centered" and calm and just let the horse carry me... was it John Lyons who says "I can ride as fast as the horse can run"...I have to remember that one. The lead horses were tiring (QHs...no surprise there), and eventually Quzqo and I made our way to the lead. We came to a paved road, and just as we were stepping onto the pavement, Bob and his horse pop out of the trees a few yards down the road, startling Quz into another danged sideways spin! I didn't lose so much as a stirrup, but I don't care for watching the pavement swirl around beneath me!

Yeah, I ride with a helmet, why?

Final leg home through some flamboyant hardwood forests! Bob made a snarky comment about my bear bells/rhythm beads (i.e. he can't stand them)! Truth be told, I don't "hear" them, I'm so used to them I don't notice them. I'd rather endure a constant tinkling noise than a sudden burst of deer or grouse (kind of like last weekend!).

Quz and I got to trotting, and since we were in the lead, he was more relaxed and had a nice ground-covering trot. But of course that got the other horses excited (though I thought I was far enough ahead of everyone that they couldn't see... there's a lot of curves on that trail, but maybe they heard the hoofbeats), and soon enough the two QHs and Steven were literally on our tail...them cantering, Quz trotting, and me laughing at the complaints from the ladies behind me! A line from "Jaws" came to mind...."Your turn, Quint!" How do YOU like it, ha!

Turns out we'd left Bob and Pam in the dust, and we had a five minute or so wait for them to catch up. Quzqo wasn't impressed with having to stand still, and was pawing and tossing his head (and flinging his spit-foam up over his head to hit me in the chest!) and walking in circles, tail-switching.

Again more trotting and hand-galloping down the dirt road, pausing only a moment when Quzqo shied at a circular tire-track in the road, where I lost my left stirrup, but managed to regain it without missing a beat!

Still more dazzling foliage to enjoy between bursts of trotting and cantering:


I got back to the barn exactly three hours from when we left. I say "I" because the other three decided to take the long way back to the barn, riding along the far side of the property. Me, my butt wanted to get home quickly, so we took the more direct route. Only when I got back to the barn did I see Bob and Pam emerging from the far trees about a mile away! Maybe I should have ridden with them and their nice leisurely walking pace!

Quzqo does not look impressed.

Maybe a good all-over body shake will help!

Quzqo would have won the Sweatiest Horse Award, but I suspect part of it was due to nerves, and the rest to being a galloping dork.


Sometimes the best part of a trail ride is when you get home, sore and bone-tired, hungry and thirsty, and knowing you can relax, get a bite to eat, take a hot shower, and thank the Lord for keeping you alive to ride another day!

Like tomorrow!


Our route: