Teetering on the Brink

Ever since I moved my old ex-Arabian, Tez to Bob's barn, I've gotten it in my head how cool it'd be to ride my horse home to my house, maybe let him "camp" for the weekend, then ride him back to the barn. It's only 4 miles one way, and last week I discovered a great dirt back-road that bypasses the long, paved-shoulder (slippery footing for horse) hill. Other than having no place to put said horse once he arrived at my house, the big obstacle has been my wimpy fear of riding across a major U.S. Highway to get there!

I keep reminding myself that I successfully, without death or injury, rode Tezlu across a 4-lane U.S. highway...TWICE, when I went trail riding with the barn manager's husband at the old Arabian barn we were at, but with age comes wimpiness. Never mind the stretch I'd have to cross has a clear view both directions of at least half a mile, so any cars approaching could be seen in plenty of time. Last night going home I deliberately drove across the intersection at 4 miles an hour and counted how many seconds it took...a whopping TEN seconds to cross!

So last night I took Quzqo for a calming, relaxing trail ride around the barn property, just enjoying the peeper frogs singing in the swamps and the birdsong and the setting sun. We made it around the fenceline but instead of turning left to go back to the barn, we turned right and headed south...towards the highway!

It's a good half mile to the highway, but we were in the field next to the road...had to approach and pass a large commercial cherry orchard, with SCARY metal tanks and wash tubs and hoses and things...he was fine 'til we came to a cherry tree STUMP...I swear, his neck arched, his butt
tucked, he began dancing in place, and I managed to get him to sidle past...until he saw the diesel fuel tank...JAM on the brakes, and a 180 degree spin down INTO a ditch right over a shrub and up again! I told him he was an idjit and got him past the fuel tank, I could feel his heart pounding even through the fenders of the saddle!

Next up was a HUGE fallen tree from eons past, maybe 3 feet in diameter, 15 feet long...Quzqo has "issues" with logs/poles lying on the ground, (I'll never forget the 10 minute battle I had trying to convince him that he could indeed walk past a power pole on the ground) Of course, he walked right by the tree without batting an eye, now apparently on a mission to get past this horrifying cherry orchard. To be truthful, I haven't ever ridden him up that way, I did drive him once, but obviously the blinkers hid all those horrors from his view.

The corner of the highway was loaded with power poles, stop signs, road signs, signs stuck in the ground advertising tree services, damp window services, snow plowing, etc. It was around 7:30 in the evening, still "rush hour" and I could see cars approaching both directions. Quzqo was dancing and wiggling and ready to GOGOGOGO on across the highway, he was all for it! Granted the closest car was 1/4 mile away, but my criteria for highway-crossing is NO vehicle in sight at all, so...we turned around and headed back, having gotten within 15 feet of the highway...a new record, for me!

Here's the odd part; Quzqo didn't WANT to go back, he wanted to keep going! He started draaaagggging along, shuffling, barely moving, kept stopping, and kept looking backwards towards the highway. We got halfway past the orchard, when he suddenly tried to pull to the left. Off in the distance I saw dozens of BEEHIVES! Just for an experiment I gave him his head, and he turned towards the beehives and started marching straight for 'em! I stopped that immediately and manhandled him back in the direction of the barn, and again he shuffled along, cranking his tail in irritation!

Okay...what's that about. Could he smell the honey? Was the bee buzzing attractive? Did he grow up with bees??? I used to ride Tezlu past the hives when they were on the edge of the orchard, and the smell of the honey was quite pervasive, but the horse never gave them any notice. But Quzqo was absolutely obsessed with heading towards the beehives!

One of these days maybe I'll indulge him...on a COLD day when the bees aren't busy, ha ha!

We made it back to the barn property, Bob's son-in-law was busy repairing the outdoor arena gate which had fallen off weeks ago...thank goodness for that! (they really need a different, lighter type of gate that wouldn't keep falling off its hinges all the time). I'm nice and distracted by pondering arena gates when Quzqo spies the DEADLY PINE BOUGH on the ground and JAMS on his brakes, ducks and spins to the right, I felt my butt leave the saddle but thankfully the pommel kept me on board and I got him back on the ground. Oh Noes, the Scary Pine Bough that was all of 12" long on the ground, Ohhhhhh Noooo! I had to ride him around it a few times, let him sniff it (he kept jerking his head back, jumping in place, snorting), until ultimately I rode him right over the thing and he was fine. Goofball.

So...maybe some warm Sunday morning when there's no traffic, I'll be brave and ride him across the highway and to my house... I found the perfect tree to tie him to, unless I rig up a picket line for him. He can graze in the side yard, I could eat lunch and relax, then have a nice ride back to the barn in the afternoon. It's a goal at any rate!

And of course if I can ride him home, I can also DRIVE him home, as that back dirt road is perfect for a cart as well!

Since I probably won't be showing this year, I gotta have some kind of goals to aim for, ha ha!

It's Nice To Share

Sunday dawned gloriously with a clear blue sky, gentle-ish breezes, and a "warmth" not experienced since sometime in 2008...if you want to call 50 degrees "warm". In these parts, we do.

I got out to the barn a little later than I'd intended, thanks to a 3 mile walk with the dogs. I didn't mind exhausting myself because the good thing about driving a horse is it's a sit-down activity with very little physical effort on the human's part! Perfect for an Easter Sunday afternoon!

It's always a good sign when the horse is waiting by the gate for you, and comes out on his own, and patiently waits to have his halter put on, then entertains himself by smooshing his goobery slobber-lips on the back of your shoulder as you lead him to the barn. A bored horse is a horse that'll most likely enjoy whatever it is you're going to make him do!

Quzqo just about snored through his grooming, content to be adored and have attention lavished upon his glorious self. He's shedding quite nicely, and even though most his winter fur is gone, he hasn't shed the winter blubber...but we'll work on that!

It's not my imagination that as soon as I began putting the harness on, he perked right up. Before I got the breast collar secured, he started tossing his head up and down in the cross-ties, and when I was fastening the breeching, he began pawing at the pavement with a forehoof, getting himself all nice and wired up! Goody!

Got him harnessed, got him hitched up without too much of an issue. As I started leading him down the aisleway he started to pull forward and I had to slow him, imagining what'd happen if he got loose and tore off, flashing back to that infamous YouTube video of the runaway Fine Harness Arabians!

Before we got out the door...I heard a close-up CHAINSAW begin to roar! Bob was cutting firewood up around the side of the barn! Oh, jeezum crow, he couldn't WAIT 5 minutes??? It stopped after a few seconds and we burst out of the barn, the horse high-headed and ready to explode, if he knew he could (cart shafts have a somewhat calming influence because he knows he can't really go anywhere sideways). I got him calmed down and pointing the right direction, and at that time Bob noticed us and let me know he'd wait 'til I was done to continue. Thank yew indeed!

Happily Quzqo stood rock sold while I got into the cart...we had, um, issues with that the previous year. He stood for maybe 15 seconds before deciding we'd stood long enough, and started walking off. I got him stopped and made him stand for another 30 seconds until I wanted to move forward. Back to square one...almost!

I took him off into the side pasture to warm up and evaluate if my life would be in danger should we go out onto the road. He was perfectly fine, pulling strongly, moving forward with enthusiasm. Why wouldn't he be, this was something he obviously enjoys!

Out the driveway and onto the road! Being Easter afternoon, traffic was extremely light. I think the horse knew what was up and immediately began dragging his feet, plodding at a glacial crawl as we left the barn behind us. I just enjoyed the blue sky, the birds singing in the leafless trees, the clip-clop-clip-clop. That kept me happy for maybe two minutes, I could walk faster than that on my own! Amazingly, some gentle flogging with the whip reminded Quzqo that he CAN walk as fast as a human, and maybe even a little faster, and he kept that brisk walking pace for longer than I figured he would!

We turned off of the main road onto my 2nd favorite dirt road, and there I got him into second gear, a GREAT enthusiastic TROT...he even managed to get himself a little excited and shied sideways as we passed a scary flag on a flag pole! He trotted on up, up, up the gradual incline before gravity took its toll and he slowed back down to a walk. I almost felt sorry for him, but I know it's not safe to get out of a cart, so sorry, Quz, I have to stay where I am while you do all the work!

We passed soooo many temptingly-close beer cans on the roadside...I need to find a kid to ride with me who can jump out of the cart and pick up cans, I could have made 50 cents on that road easily! Maybe I can attach a small hook to the end of my driving whip, so I can hook the cans from the cart and put them in a bag attached to the seat or something...I'll have to work on that. Hey, what can I say, I'm my father's daughter!

Quzqo was a trotting MANIAC! I never get that much trotting out of him when I ride! I think the new shoes make a difference, if it's more comfortable for him to trot, he's more likely to do more of it! We did about a mile on that dirt road, then turned North onto another paved road, and trotted maybe half a mile on the nice wide shoulder. I stopped him, and dug out my cell phone to call a friend who lives nearby, as I wanted to surprise her with a visit!

Well, they say talking on the cell phone while driving is not good. I can attest that talking on the cell phone while driving a HORSE is also not good! Unlike a car that will stay obediently parked on the shoulder, a horse will feel slack in the reins as one fumbles with the phone, and take that opportunity to start walking off into the road and changing direction all on his own! I doubt my friend felt insulted by my sudden ending of the call as I stuffed my phone back in my pocket, took the reins in both hands and tried to stop Quzqo from walking back to the barn down the middle of Reynolds Road!

I got him stopped and turned around, to find a bewildered motorist stopped up the road, waiting to see what was going to happen next!

We got back on the shoulder and turned down my friend's road, with the car slowly tailing us, not sure (I assume) if he should/could pass or not. Eventually he did, his slow creeping pace actually spooking Quzqo!

I've noticed that...when cars/bikes/people slowly creeeeeep past the horse, it's more worrisome than if they just go by at a normal speed. Probably a predator thing.

Quzqo trotted on down the road, preferring the pavement to the gravel/dirt shoulder...as I said, he must love those shoes! Only a brief in-motion spook as somebody's large brown dog ran wildly at the end of its dog trolley in the back yard.

Our friend, Pati, met us in the driveway, after dashing back in to bring out an Offering for Himself...a nice orange ORGANIC carrot! Quz was game, he didn't mind having to trot approximately 4 miles to get a treat, and managed to scarf it down, never mind having a bit in his mouth!

Pati hesitantly got into the cart, muttering "this is scary!", and we headed back down the road at a pleasant walk. After a few minutes I asked if she wanted to "go fast", she grabbed ahold of the side rail and said "sure!". Quzqo took off at a nice trot (he's SO good with verbal commands!), and whaddaya know, it's FUN, not scary!

We went past the big brown dog, this time it sort of ran on its tether but didn't bark, and the horse didn't notice. We got to the Lake Ann Elementary School and headed into their big parking lot where I handed Pati the reins! LOL, she was surprised, but was game, and did a fairly decent job steering the horse...managing to turn him at the last moment before he headed into a snowbank! She drove him around the lot and out back onto the road towards her house!

Quzqo chose that moment to spook at a shadow, which about gave Pati a coronary, and she quickly handed the reins back to me! We trotted past the brown dog for the third time, and he just sat there and looked at us....old hat by now!

Once back at the house Pati brought out some maple sugar and offered Quzqo a lump in the shape of a maple leaf...THEN I was offered a piece as well. It's only fitting, the horse did do all the work! It was wonderful sugar...I thought so anyway. Quzqo spit his out on the ground! Twice!

About that time I think his patience was wearing thin, he KNEW he was pointed back to the barn, and didn't want to stand around in a driveway being fed strange-tasting treats. We said our good-byes, and back onto the road, heading home!

It's unusual to see that much energy in a Quzqo, and since he was willing and able, I let him go, and he trotted nearly a mile and a half down Lake Ann road on the shoulder, just floating along, eating up that road!! I think we made it back to the barn in record time! He even had some sweat under the breast collar...not easy to do in 45 degree weather!!

Unhitched, untacked, brushed down, and settled into his clean stall with a warm bran mash to occupy him until his dinner would be served, I thanked him again for a wonderful drive, and thanked him for not killing me! Every day should be as pleasant!

The Shadow Knows

Today was our fourth venture into the Outside World (outside of an arena that is)...with an impossibly blue sky overhead, a gusty cold wind that was mercifully blocked by the forest, birdsong in both our sets of ears, and the promise that hey, that snow WILL eventually melt...all the way! Some day.

Quzqo was in a good mood, one of the benefits of heading to the barn during the daytime before he's all tired and yawning from his busy horsey day of eating, pooping, and rampaging around with his fellow "Bad Boyz" in the pasture. Horses in a good mood are so much easier to deal with.

We didn't go for any major excursion, just a nice 90 minute trip around the neighborhood. Again I forgot to attach my pommel bag, which meant I had to pass up 6 beer cans on the roadside...Michigan has the 10 cent deposit on beverage cans, and I like to gather them up on dog walks and trail rides...those dimes add up! But with no place to carry them...I suppose I could have tied them to the horse's tail, that would have gone over well! I bet I would have made it back to the barn in record time!

Finally the snow had disappeared enough that we could head INto the woods a little bit, though all north ditches were still filled with a yard of snow or so, so we couldn't go our usual route, and I didn't feel like riding through the scary Redneck White Trash Michigan Hillbilly neighborhood (I have got to get photos one of these times, but frankly, that's not a stretch of road I want to ride one-handed through).

Quz was fine in the confines of the trees, and seemed almost genuinely interested... maybe because there was nothing to distract him such as lush, delicious maple leaves dangling at lip-height to try to grab as we walk by. We did encounter quite a few stretches of snow on the trail from an inch to maybe 6 or 8 inches deep. I swear he got "stuck" in one deep snow pile and almost refused to move...I got him unstuck and we made it through and out of the woods.

Only then did I see the new, bright "NO TRESPASSING" signs!

Well, heck, they need to post them on the OTHER side of the property where I went in...how was I supposed to know! Sheesh!

Hm...the forest IS for sale (nice 5 acre lots)...I could say I was interested in buying and was just checking out the land on horseback...yeah, yeah, that's the ticket!

We got a good amount of trotting in, some GREAT cantering too...that boy can canter when he has a mind to! We need to work on that fabled "Arabian Endurance" though...again he quit on his own to huff and puff and flare his nostrils. I think he's losing weight, or maybe it's just him losing his winter fur that makes him seem thinner. I need to lose my winter fur so I look thinner too!

Four successful trips into the great outdoors without too much drama. Lord willing, tomorrow, I drive!

Dude, Where's My Trail!??

Here it is, almost APRIL and the woods are still choked with snow that can be measured with a yardstick!! But at long last the roads are clear enough that I was finally able to take Quzqo OUT of the indoor arena and go someplace where we could travel in a straight line for a long, long time!!

He hadn't been ridden outdoors since early last November, so I didn't take any chances, tacking him up in our good trail saddle, breast collar, and a shanked bit. Had my cell phone, and tied my hunter orange sweatshirt to the back of the saddle. He also has shoes on his front feet for the first time in 2 or 3 years. We were READY!

It was a balmy 34 degrees with a nice 10 mph wind, making the wind chill around 21 degrees, and of course just as we stepped out of the barn, the sky clouded over, reminding me that we've got a winter storm forcast for tonight into tomorrow. Oh goody.

The horse did surprisingly well, considering it's his first time outside a fence in 5 months (!!!!!) and he's an Arabian. Oh, we had a couple of little spook-fits leaving the property (OMG a SNOWBANK!), and when we got to the end of the fenceline he pulled his usual Drama Queen "Oh no, we're NOT leaving the property" but I had spurs on and got him moving off the property. You'd think having stared at the same fences all winter, he'd be eager to see some new sights!

There was between 1 foot and 3 feet of snow in the woods, so we stuck to the roads. Since he's got shoes on now, we were able to trot and canter without him being "ouchie" about the gravel...that was a nice change!

LOL, as we were leaving we came to a long hill, and we started trotting; he broke into a canter...the same thing he did years ago when he ran off with me and I ended up in the emergency room! I briefly worried on that, then it occured to me; this horse is so FAT you can't feel his ribs even if you push hard! Yep, halfway up the hill he pooped out and walked the rest of the way, puffing and huffing!

Our ride was pretty much short bits of trotting or cantering with lots of walking, cuz both of us are out of shape. It was interesting to see all the treasures uncovered by the melting snow...articles of clothing, car parts, election signs, and the requisite deer rib cage.

We made it to the edge of the state forest where the Shore-to-Shore trail goes in...the snow was pretty deep, so we didn't even bother trying.



He did darned good though, no major spook-fits, good as gold on the road when cars and trucks whizzed by. I'm optimistic for what this year holds!

Dealing with Non-Believers

My neighbor is a very outgoing social sort of gal, and is forever inviting me hither and yon for this speaker's presentation or this art gallery show or this concert or this "women's event" (sorry, I gave those up back in the '80's when my subscription to "Ms" ran out). This Sunday will be a once-in-a-lifetime open house event at some new eatery downtown with hors d'oeuvres and wine tastings and probably a heaping helping of snobbery and pontificating blathering. Yeah, she invited me along.

This Sunday also will be the first day this YEAR where the roadsides will be clear of snow and slush, and it'll be sunny, and dry, and temperatures in the low 50's, and I've been dreaming all week of taking Quzqo out for a drive on the roads...outdoors! In the fresh air! With firm footing and we will be able to go more than 100 feet before having to turn a corner. He even got shoes put on his front feet yesterday in preparation for our driving and trail riding adventures to come!

Gee...which do you think I'd rather do?

I tried to explain this to my neighbor, and I could see her glazed, uncomprehending look, even over the telephone... how could anyone prefer to do something with a big smelly horse rather than enjoy tea sandwiches and fine wines in a posh downtown eatery on a Sunday afternoon?

It'd be impossible to really explain, how I prefer the smell of horse manure over merlot fumes, I'd rather run my fingers through a fuzzy fur coat still attached to a single-toed beastie that nickers on one end and farts out the other, than a fur coat on a hanger in a fancy store. My non-existent manicure probably has horse dirt under the nails, because $30 will buy a hoof trim for the horse rather than acrylic nails for myself.

It's probably not worth the bother to try to explain. They'll never understand, but I understand, and you probably understand as well.

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Addendum: Well, this idiot overdid it on Saturday and swilled half a bottle of Chardonnay, and thus woke up with the Migraine/Hangover from HELL on Sunday! So I never got out to the barn to drive or ride or much of anything, instead spending my day shivering in bed wishing for death. Well, there's always next weekend...

At Long Last...a Video!

Over the years I've had requests for a video of me actually riding Quzqo, so people could help me with my problems with him, or just to see. This past weekend a good friend came to visit, and she was kind enough to be my videographer. This is hardly the ideal conditions for videotaping, but I had a willing body to hold the camera, so one makes due with what one has!

Some disclaimers!

• I hadn't ridden the horse in a week and a half
• It was night, and the barn owner doesn't want us using the BIG arena lights to save electricity and $$ (though now I wish I'd gone ahead and used them, ha ha)...that's why it's dark!
• It was around 14 degrees IN the arena, so I'm bundled up to the gills.
• Just so nobody turns me in to FHOTD for being an inappropriate-footwear-wearing @sshat, I AM wearing my winter boots, but they have a nice heel to them.
• Normally I ride with spurs, I didn't, so that's why I'm pummeling the horse's sides now and then.
• I'd never ridden in that saddle before...I just bought it that day and was trying it out. Yes, it's too small and I will be selling it shortly
• I'm riding with a bitless bridle.
• The weird as heck glowing face of Satan is actually the reflectors on the tractor parked in the corner.
• I guess that's it! Enjoy!

My Horse Is A Dick!

On at least two separate occasions, our barn owner, Bob, has outright told me my horse is a Jerk. I've heard him refer to Quzqo as an "Asshole" and "Idiot", and more than once I've had people come and tell me how uncooperative my horse was while they were attempting to bring him in in the evenings.

MY horse? My sweet cuddly wuddly poopsie woopsie pocket pony? Mr. Cute-iful? Mr. Pretty? MY Cooskie Wooskie? (Okay, I never called him that...seriously....honest!)(though I may start).

Well, the other evening I stopped out at the barn on my way home from work, we'd had a pretty significant snowfall, maybe a foot or so of new snowfall. The gelding were still out in their pasture, I gathered up my rope halter and started for the door.

There was a full-fledged stampede a'happening out in that pasture! ALL the geldings, except for old Colby the QH, who was standing by the gate being a gentleman, were TEARING around in the snow, full bore, heels kicking and flying, galloping, rearing, wheeling, snow flying in their wake. And me without my camera! It WAS in the car, I debated if I could run back to the car and get back with the camera before they stopped cavorting... I didn't think I could.

There, of course, was Quzqo, in the thick of it all! This small grey dervish just kicking ass and taking down names! He was cantering prettily through the snow, then wheeled like a rattlesnake, striking out with teeth and fang at whatever butt was close by, then snap around and rear up on his hind legs, forelegs lashing out, before leaping off and trotting around the outside of the mob. Everybody was beating on everybody else...galloping willy-nilly, rearing, bucking, kicking. I saw my farrier's younger gelding fly all four feet off the ground straight up in the air and tear off kicking and bucking just for the helluvit!

Quzqo reared up at my friend Gail's Thoroughbred, who reared up and met the challenge. Quzqo came down, wheeled to the side, JUST as Memo spun and KICKED with one long hind leg, right at the space where Quzqo's head was a split-second ago! Yow! (I guess that might explain the blood icicle of a few weeks ago...which is healing nicely by the way)

Quzqo took after my friend Sandy's QH gelding, Spike, snaked his neck out and grabbed ahold of Spike's turnout sheet...Spike lunged forward, tearing the fabric out of Quzqo's teeth.... Ooops.... Sandy is always bemoaning the fact that "somebody" is tearing/biting at Spike and wrecking his blanket/sheet. Er...oops... um...gee, that's awful, whoever would do that??

Quzqo then began placing face-tag with one of the other QHs out there...let's try to bite each other's faces, it's FUN!!

Bob went out to open the gate so the horses would come in to the paddock by the barn, they saw him from the distance and instantly they stampeded towards the gate. Dinner time! It reminded me of young boys, busy playing games until mom calls "dinner!", they drop their toys and run for the kitchen!

So I guess next time Gail or Sandy complain to me about Memo's latest injury or Spike's torn blankets, I'll continue to shrug and say "gee, that's awful, wonder how that happened!"